“I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!” Psalm 57:9-10

       Some days it seems as though I am only a few steps away from the emotional downward spiral of restlessness, fear, uncertainty, and frantic grasping for my longings to be met (social connection being a main one right now). Then the sweetness of a time like this morning arrives. I sit here, warm drink in hand, furry companion lounging on the carpet feet away from me, soft specks of snow filling the sky as they drift downwards in the clear, just-lit morning sky. 

I can take a breath.

      “I will give thanks” Have I fully realized that no matter what happens in these uncertain times, there will always be something to give thanks for? We fear being stripped of many of the things in this life that we deem pleasurable or even “necessary”. On one hand, I must realize that we live in much decadence and have become used to excesses that are not “necessary” by any means. It would not hurt us much to be stripped of those and would perhaps instead bring us closer together as families and communities and even as family in Christ. On the other hand, we are not the first. We forget that generation after generation of humanity has undergone intense struggle. For the majority of us, we have forgotten what the basic things of life are, simply because our lives are filled with so much. We forget that to be human often means to struggle…and it will not destroy us.

       Where is God in our struggle? I have wrestled with this a lot, ever since my own family’s life was upended by an unexpected, life-consuming struggle that lasted years. Is the answer only that God must be good, therefore my emotions of pain and heartache must be silenced and put away, made to bow before sheer reason? That is a partial truth. Yes, I must believe God is good. But He has given us way more than that. He has given us Christ, in the Incarnation; God with us. This is not trite comfort. God, the One who is faultless, unable to be tainted, came to be part of a world that was broken and tainted by our own hands. We are all broken as a result of Adam’s choice and our own sin. We deserve this – no matter how much we might resist that declaration. I deserve to be broken, to be sick, to be living as though dead, to experience the pain of broken relationships and loneliness. We have chosen this.

       But Jesus didn’t. Yet He entered into the consequences of our decisions and bore it with us. For more than thirty years, He lived the daily life of mixed joy and pain that all of us experience. Are you seeing what I have been coming to see? This life is broken…and though we, as society, have tried to plaster it back together and paint over it again and again in an effort to hide it and declare that all is well…it is not. We are naturally broken. Despite all the declarations of the secular humanists, brokenness and pain is our lot in this world.

       BUT GOD. He, the only One not of this world, is our only hope, our only good. Once I realize that, my railing protests quiet, and I must humbly come to sit at His feet in awe. Each small thing of beauty then comes to light as a gift from Him. This warmth, this feline companionship, the beauty of the snow, the light that fills the sky, the connection with humanity that lies at my fingertips through the internet…gifts, every one.

       “For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds” – God’s love. The half truth is that we must believe by sheer reason that this is true. But what about those times of heartache? What IF our world turns on its head as a result of this time? Is God still loving? Yes – look at all the small joys in this life that we do not deserve! Yes – because Christ came. In Christ, we both have hope of a future eternal life where pain will be fixed (something we cannot demand now) and a hope of comfort and companionship in the heartaches of this life. God with us. Sometimes we rail against God, “Why don’t you fix this?!” But through His Word, does He not gently say, “I have…in the future. But, for now, you must stay with your lost brethren and experience the consequences of sin. Take heart, though, for I am with you.” Love. Love that reaches emotions, past the sheer reason that will deny emotion when it cannot fit it in.

       “I am with you.” Do we take that to heart? When my soul starts to gasp for the refreshing water of hope and joy, do I turn to the fountain of living waters, the One who is my source? Or do I try to drown my soul out in busyness, social media, news, or people? “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” (John 15:9) “As the Father has loved me” …wait a minute – is that really what it is saying?! As God the Father loved His own Son, the perfect, blameless One…in the same way, Jesus loves me, the broken, distraught, frantic, blind, oft disobedient child?

       “And after he had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray.” (Mark 6:46) The perfect One, while on this earth, had constant need of His Father. Because He trusted His Father’s love, we see that He turned to Him continually, in public and in private. If we can trust in this same love, how much more do we need that communion with Him? That communion that brings us to the eye of the storm, to the strength and calmness of truth about our position combined with His love. It may look like a whole chunk of time set apart in these days of less busyness. It may look like a minute pause multiple times a day to see, to thank, to abide and rest. I need it badly, for my heart is so frail, especially in these days.

       So, it becomes clear. In the worst-case scenarios, there will always be a glimmer of hope and life in Him – I need not fear whatever may come. Much lasting fruit is created by the struggles of this life.

       And He is with us. My frail heart that is daily on the verge of being swept into fears and desperate grasping must run to the Father, who truly IS love, who truly IS faithful. Those things will never change.

(I encourage you to read and ponder all of Psalm 57 and John 15:1-17. They are a great encouragement.)